How do I HAMBURG? ReiseFührer

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1 How do I HAMBURG? ReiseFührer

2 index of content traveling in hamburg traveling by subway traveling by taxi / cab traveling by foot geofox.de - route planner suway map hamburg city map traveling by bike teh system hiring hiring by phone return return by phone hire station full the price price list locations scientology org HAMBURGER DO(o)m gay bars eating in hamburg delivery suway addresses schweinske addresses burger king addresses kfc addresses mc donalds addresses vegetarian restaurants how to sleep in hamburg the many memes of hamburg typical terms teh headcrab history tl;dr Papercraft headcrab the metric system the europlug the interwebs in germany warchalking icon set you lost your suit c&a stores h&m stores peek & cloppenburg stores the code of conduct (english) the code of conduct (hebrew) the code of conduct (german)

3 Traveling by Subway is very easy First you need a ticket. But what kind of ticket? day ticket (Tageskarte) for 6.30 Euro or 3 day ticket (3 Tageskarte) for Euro or a weekend ticket (Wochenendkarte) for Euro (with all DB support Germany wide) If you need further information, check out: HVV.de is your Wikipedia of traveling, so dont annoy us with your questions. Suddenly; Bikes! You got me nigger, you can rent bikes, fucking epic german bikes! Lol how d- Lol wher- Lol whats this bullshit fo- Lol may i please finish a senten- Just get an electronic cash card. On some trainstations. For epic city trips. No. Nao gtfo and rent a bike! Traveling by Taxi/Cap What u needz iz: Moneyz Moar Moneyz Any kind of Phone Following Numbers: or All you need is: Traveling by Foot A map of Hamburg buy it for under 5 Euro on the next gas-staion (Tankstelle). Good shoes. Not enough money to afford train or bus, poor faggit :3 geofox.de - route planner For a quick and easy way to find your way from point A to point B with public transportation, visit There you can simply insert where you ll start your journey and where you actually want to go. You have the choice to either insert the station (bus or subway) or the street address. To use this webpage in english, scroll to the bottom of the page and klick the fourth link English version. 01

4 Richtung Itzehoe/Husum Cuxhaven Langeln Hittfeld Mundsburg Hammerbrook Wilhelmsburg Harburg Barmbek Rothenburgsort Tiefstack Subway Map most important locations near Hauptbahnhof (central station) Scientology Org Reeperbahn and St. Pauli (redlight district) lots of shopping possibilities Schanzenviertel with its small bars and pubs Schmalenbeck Kiekut Großhansdorf Richtung Neumünster/Kiel Dauenhof Horst Richtung Neumünster Boostedt Barmstedt Brunnenstraße Poppenbüttel Wellingsbüttel Niendorf Nord Hoheneichen Schippelsweg Kornweg (Klein Borstel) Elmshorn Prisdorf Joachim-Mähl-Straße Niendorf Markt Hagenbecks Tierpark Hagendeel Lutterothstraße Osterstraße Emilienstraße Christuskirche Sengelmannstraße (City Nord) Lattenkamp (Sporthalle) Hudtwalckerstraße Norderstedt Mitte Voßloch Barmstedt Bokholt Sparrieshoop Langenmoor Tornesch Pinneberg Alveslohe Alsterdorf Alster Ohlsdorf Rübenkamp (City Nord) Alte Wöhr (Stadtpark) Habichtstraße Eidelstedt Zentrum Berliner Tor Ritterstraße Schlump Holstenstraße Wartenau Landwehr Altona Sternschanze (Messe) Wedel Rissen Sülldorf Iserbrook Blankenese Hochkamp Feldstraße (Heiligengeistfeld ) Klein Flottbek (Botanischer Garten) Othmarschen Bahrenfeld St. Pauli Ohlstedt Hoisbüttel Volksdorf Trabrennbahn Buckhorn Meiendorfer Weg Berne Farmsen Friedrichsberg Kellinghusenstraße Wandsbek- Gartenstadt Alter Teichweg Straßburger Straße Wandsbek Markt Rickling Wahlstedt Fahrenkrug Richtung Neumünster Bad Segeberg Altengörs Wakendorf Fresenburg Ahrensburg Richtung Lübeck Reinfeld Bad Oldesloe Kupfermühle Bargteheide Wohltorf Aumühle Friedrichsruh Schwarzenbek Müssen Königstraße Reeperbahn Landungsbrücken Buchenkamp Ahrensburg West Ahrensburg Ost Billwerder-Moorfleet Mittlerer Landweg Reinbek Bergedorf Lauenburg Lüneburg Echem Richtung Uelzen Richtung Schwerin/Rostock Büchen Dahlenburg Neetzendorf Göhrde Richtung Dannenberg Großbereich Hamburg Wendisch Evern Vastorf Bavendorf Richtung Hammah Stade Agathenburg Dollern Horneburg Richtung Bremerhaven Neukloster Thesdorf Elbgaustraße Messehallen Dammtor (Messe / CCH) Gänsemarkt (Oper) Mönckebergstraße Stadthausbrücke Kutenholz Brest-Aspe Bargstedt Harsefeld Ruschwedel Apensen Klecken Meckelfeld Maschen Neu Wulmstorf Stelle Neugraben Winsen Radbruch Bardowick Buchholz Neuwiedenthal Suerhop Holm-Seppensen Büsenbachtal Handeloh Sprötze Heimfeld Harburg Rathaus Tostedt Richtung Bremen Klosterstern Hallerstraße Stephansplatz (Oper/ CCH) Himmelpforten Baumwall Rödingsmarkt Rathaus Meßberg Steinstraße Sierichstraße Borgweg (Stadtpark) Halstenbek Krupunder Großbereich Hamburg Richtung Soltau Rahlstedt Tonndorf Wandsbek Richtung Lübeck Ratzeburg Mölln Merkenstraße Steinfurther Allee Mümmelmannsberg Großenaspe Wiemersdorf Bad Bramstedt Bad Bramstedt Kurhaus Lentföhrden Nützen dodenhof Holstentherme Kaltenkirchen Kaltenkirchen Süd Henstedt-Ulzburg Ulzburg Süd Meeschensee Haslohfurth Quickborner Straße Friedrichsgabe Moorbekhalle (Schulzentrum Nord) Richtweg Garstedt Quickborn Süd Ochsenzoll Kiwittsmoor Langenhorn Nord Langenhorn Markt Hasloh Fuhlsbüttel Nord Fuhlsbüttel Klein Borstel Bönningstedt Burgwedel Schnelsen Hörgensweg Quickborn Ellerau Tanneneck Mo-Sa zeitweilig bis Hauptbahnhof Dehnhaide Eidelstedt Stellingen Arena Hamburger Straße Diebsteich Langenfelde Hamburg Airport (Flughafen) Uhlandstraße Hasselbrook Lübecker Straße Lohmühlenstraße (City Süd) Allermöhe Veddel Nettelnburg (BallinStadt) Fischbek Ashausen Wandsbeker Chaussee Stand/Date of issue 29. Juni 2009 HVV Gartenholz vsl. Dez 2009 Burgstraße Hammer Kirche Rauhes Haus Horner Rennbahn Legienstraße Billstedt Nord Eppendorfer Baum Hoheluftbrücke Saarlandstraße Hauptbahnhof Jungfernstieg Schnellbahn-/ Regionalverkehr Rapid Transit /Regional Rail Infos Fahrpläne Service Central Station Süd Buxtehude Nur zeitweilig / limited services Haltestellen Barrierefreier Zugang zu Schnellbahn-/Regionalverkehr den Schnellbahnen Rapid Transit-/Regional Rail-Stations Infos zum barrierefreien Nicht alle Regionalverkehrszüge halten an jedem Bahnhof Not all regional trains stop at all stations Fernbahnhof Main-Line Station Großbereichsgrenze Greater Hamburg boundary nicht im HVV not inside HVV network Parken und Reisen park and ride Zugang zu den Regionalbahnen unter Tel Barrier-free access to the rapid transit trains Information on barrier-free access to the regional trains on tel

5 Hamburg Map city 1/4 map street mainstreet foot path foot path in shopping centers railway overground U-bahn underground S-bahn underground S-bahn station U-bahn station water parks outlook memorials important buildings stationary ships museum theater cinema hostel 01 03

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9 Traveling by Bike As already told, you can rent bikes near trainstations in Hamburg. You ll find the stations here: 510/ _SR_HH_Entleihstationen_Karte_Listen.pdf Teh List( Part of it ) Number of Bikes 2111 Reeperbahn / Königstraße St. Pauli Fischmarkt / Breite Straße Altona Königstraße / Struenseestraße Altona Ottenser Marktplatz / Museumsstraße Ottensen Große Bergstraße / Jessenstraße Altona Chemnitzstraße / Max-Brauer-Allee Altona Bahnhof Altona Ost / Max-Brauer-Allee Altona Bahnhof Altona West / Busbahnhof Altona Neuer Pferdemarkt / Beim Grünen Jäger Sternschanze Schulterblatt / Eifflerstraße Sternschanze Sternschanze / Eingang Dänenweg Sternschanze Eimsbütteler Straße / Waterloostraße Eimsbüttel Bahnhof Dammtor Nord / Theodor-Heuss-Platz Rotherbaum Universität / Moorweidenstraße Rotherbaum Harvestehuder Weg / Alte Rabenstraße Rotherbaum Universität / Schlüterstraße Rotherbaum Christuskirche / Fruchtallee Eimsbüttel Osterstraße / Bismarckstraße Eimsbüttel Hallerstraße / Rothenbaumchaussee Harvestehude Grindelberg / Bezirksamt Eimsbüttel Harvestehude Innocentiapark / Oberstraße Harvestehude Eppendorfer Baum / Isestraße Harvestehude Isestraße / Hoheluftbrücke Harvestehude Geobenstraße / Eppendorfer Weg Eimsbüttel Lübecker Straße / Marienkrankenhaus Hohenfelde Landwehr / Angerstraße Hohenfelde Wartenau / Lübecker Straße Hohenfelde Uhlandstraße / Eingang Nord Hohenfelde Eduard-Rhein-Ufer / Schwanenwik Uhlenhorst Lerchenfeld / Uferstraße Uhlenhorst Mundsburg / Schürbeker Straße Uhlenhorst Goldbekplatz / Semperstraße Winterhude Jarrestraße / Rambatzweg Barmbek 25 07

10 Teh System (Conspiracy lol) Every StadtRAD Hamburg hire station has a central user terminal: (RAD means Bike in german.) Hiring 1. Simply touch the screen to activate it. ( Srsly, that shouldnt be that hard...) 2. Identify yourself with your electronic cash or credit card. ( Lol government will keep your personal info to raep your face, NOT. ) 3. Choose the bike you want to hire using the displayed bike number. You will then see the corresponding opening codes. ( You think you get a funny Phrase after every point? Well, fuck you. ) 4. Enter the opening code in the display of the bike lock. The lock opens: simply pull out the locking bar and CHAARGE FOR THE VATERLAND CHAAAAAAARGE! DOWN WITH THE BOLSHE-... sry, i got carried away... Hiring by phone What you need: a phone (O RLY?! YA RLY!) no having an electronic cash card / credit card Aids How to: Call teh number that is encircled in red on the bikes lock. Return You can return your StadtRAD to any hire station in Hamburg: 1. Lock your bike into a free parking space and press the locking button on the bike lock. 2. The lock now recognises the parking space and shows you an acknowledgement code. 3. On the user menu, select Return. 4. Identify yourself with your electronic cash card or credit card or enter the bike number followed by the acknowledgement code. 5. The display shows you the hire period and any possibly incurred costs. The costs are charged to your bank account once a month. 08

11 Returning by phone 1. Lock your bike into a free parking space and press the locking button on the bike lock. 2. The lock now recognises the parking space and shows you an acknowledgement code. 3. Call the phone number encircled in red on the cover of the lock. 4. Enter the acknowledgement code and the 4-digit station number (to be found on the side of the terminal) in the keypad of your phone. 5. You will now see the hire period and any possibly incurred costs. Hire station full If all parking spaces at a hire station are full, the terminal shows you a location information and a one-off time credit of 15 free minutes to reach a nearby hire station and return the StadtRAD there. The Price For the first 30 minutes, you can use every StadtRAD Hamburg free of charge; after that, you pay the low price of 3 ct/min. The 5 Euro fee charged at registration is held in your credit to the full amount **. Price list Normal tariff HVV tariff BahnCard tarif 1st-30th minute free of charge free of charge free of charge 31st-60th minute 4ct/min. 3ct/min. 3ct/min. from 61th minute 8ct/min. 6ct/min. 6ct/min. 1 day (24 h) 12 Euro 12 Euro 12 Euro ** The registration fee is held in your credit for 12 months after registration. It is not possible for the registration fee to be paid out in cash. 09

12 locations scientology org So you know how the target looks like and where which room can be found from the side we ll be protesting. 1 cafeteria, habitable room (Drug-Rundown) 2 reading room and office (not very frequently used) 3 library (you can borrow books) 4 Room for Students (tapeplayer for listing to crappy lecture, moar books, soundproof room for TRs, etc.) 5 LRH-office (don t know the accurate level, beneath or under it is a small cinema with 20 seats) 6 auditing room - (in ne floor is total quietness, Closing down is necessary here) 7 there (and above) office for publicity (OSA), stats... 8 IAS-office (in front of the door lots of propaganda, indoor lots of gold decor and very clean. Doesn t look very frequently used.) 9 office and material for the public, small staff gathering room 10 publicity office (OSA) 11 basement: Cinema (seats unkown), bigger staff gathering room, dump left of the pic: office frontgroups (right side stairway) There are rooms for WOG offices (for rent, to get moar money). On the stairway: every level looks the same like the incoming room (with a small table with info material), lots of big scedules, stats and to-do-list boards). 10

13 hamburger do(o)m The Hamburger DOM is a piece of hanseatic city tradition and has around nine million visitors every year. It s the biggest fun fair in the north of Germany with a guarantee for fun, nostalgia an thrills galore. opening times Mondays to Thursdays from 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays from 3 p.m. to midnight (0.30 a.m. in summer) Sundays from 2 p.m. to 11 p.m. 11

14 gay bars Nice bars and clubs, not only for gay people. Enjoy your evening! WunderBar Talstraße 14, St Pauli, Hamburg telefon: 040 / G-bar Lange Reihe 81, St Georg, Hamburg telefon: 040 / Geuse Raffaele/Bellini Bar Danziger Straße 63, St Georg, Hamburg telefon: 040 / strictly-men BAR Danziger Straße 51, Hamburg telefon: 040 / Rudis Nightclub Steindamm 58, St Georg, Hamburg telefon: 040 / Daniels Bar Kreuzweg 6, St Georg, Hamburg telefon: 040 / Thomaskeller Rostocker Straße 14, Sankt Georg, Hamburg telefon: 040 / Toom-Peerstall Angelika Fox Clemens-Schultz-Straße 43, St Pauli, Hamburg telefon: 040 / Pit & Male Club Pulverteich 17, St Georg, Hamburg telefon: 040 / Extratour Zimmerpforte 1, St Georg, Hamburg telefon: 040 / Piccadilly-Club Friedrichstraße, St Pauli, Hamburg telefon: 040 /

15 Eating in Hamburg DeliverY You need lots of phone numbers. Just ask your local anon OR use the easy and fast way and type your zip code in it. All Shops that will deliver to you get listeted (ok not all, but 80-95% of the shops). So good nom nom nom time! Subway Addresses Gänsemarkt 36,20354 Neustadt, Hamburg Hoheluftchaussee 28, Hoheluft-Ost, Hamburg Heegbarg 2, Hamburg Kieler Straße 561, Stellingen, Hamburg Glockengiesserwall 8, Hamburg Hammerbrookstraße 92, Hammerbrook, Hamburg Paul-Nevermann-Platz 15, Altona-Nord, Hamburg Lange Reihe 60, Sankt Georg, Hamburg Wandsbeker Marktstraße 111, Wandsbek, Hamburg Hamburger Straße, Hamburg Rissener Straße 105, Schulau, Wedel Langenhorner Markt, Langenhorn, Hamburg Berliner Tor 31, Sankt Georg, Hamburg Schweinske addresses Pork and other yummy things. Reeperbahn 157, Hamburg Kieler Str. 284, Hamburg Wandsbeker Marktstr , Hamburg Hauptbahnhof, Hamburg Silcherstr. 1, Hamburg Alte Holstenstr. 2, Hamburg Ulzburger-Straße 334, Norderstedt Barmbeker Markt 19, Hamburg Bahnhofstraße 61, Schulau, Wedel Bergedorfer Str. 112, Hamburg Lehmweg 44, Hamburg Cuxhavener Str. 342, Hamburg Bauerweg 13, Elmshorn Tangstedter Landstr. 465, Hamburg Schweriner Straße 18, Rahlstedt, Hamburg Fuhlsbüttler Str. 113, Hamburg 13

16 BUrger KING Addresses Burger King Alsterdorf Alsterkrugchaussee 333, Hamburg Burger King Altona Julius-Brecht-Strasse 6, Hamburg Burger King Altstadt Am Mönckenbergbrunnen, Hamburg Burger King Altstadt Georgsplatz 10, Hamburg Burger King Billstedt Billstedter Platz 39k, Hamburg Burger King Boberg Reinbeker Redder 2, Hamburg Burger King Borgfelde Eiffestrasse 64, Hamburg Burger King Bramfeld Bramfelder Chaussee 366, Hamburg Burger King Farmsen Berner Heerweg , Hamburg Burger King Moorfleet Andreas Meyer Strasse 64, Hamburg Burger King Norderstedt Berlin Allee 38-44a, Norderstedt Burger King Ottensen Ottenser Hauptstrasse 2, Hamburg Burger King St. Pauli Reeperbahn 75, Hamburg Burger King Steilshoop Steilshooper Allee 55, Hamburg Burger King Stellingen Kieler Strasse 222, Hamburg Burger King Wandsbek Friedrich Ebert Damm 166, Hamburg Burger King Wedel Rissener Strasse 108, Wedel Burger King Wilstorf Winsener Strasse 229, Hamburg KFC addresses McDonalds addresses Glockengießerwall 8-10 (Wandelhalle), Hamburg Reeperbahn 100, Hamburg Billstedter Haupstr , Hamburg Wandsbeker Zollstr , Hamburg Stader Str. 200, Hamburg Ask your Local Anon Guide. There are so many stores in the hole town. 14

17 vegetarian restaurants If you need strange food, (vegetarian shit=) you can find various restaurants with a vegetarian menue or moar. But if you want a restaurant specialised in this, here s a small list. Cafe koppel Lange Reihe 75 / Koppel Hamburg Phone number: offer: Vegan-friendly, German, Beer/Wine govidam Grindelallee 159, Hamburg Phone number: offer: Indian, Fast Food, Take-out hin and vegm Schulterblatt 16 West Schanzenviertel Hamburg Phone number: offer: Lacto, Vegan-friendly, Organic, Fast food, Beer/Wine, Take-out ohari Landwehr Hamburg (at direkt an der S-Bahn-Station Landwehr, Bus Nr. 25) Phone number: offer: Vegan-friendly, Indian tassajara Eppendorfer Landstr 4 Phone number: offer: Ovo, Lacto, Vegan-friendly, Beer/Wine veg out Bahrenfelder Str Hamburg Phone number: offer: Ovo, Lacto, Vegan-friendly, Western, Fast food 15

18 How to Sleep in Hamburg Hamburg hostels, Hamburg cheap hostels online booking This is the complete list of Hamburg hostels and other types of cheap accommodation such as cheap hotels, B&B s and guest houses in Hamburg which you can book online now with Hostels Central. For more information about a single hostel, you can select Hamburg hostels from the list below, to check availability for Hamburg select dates and number of nights from the search form on the right. A&O Hamburg Hauptbahnhof Category: Hostel Address: Amsinckstraße 2, Hamburg - Hamburg, Germany A&O Hamburg Hauptbahnhof can be found near the Hamburger Hauptbahnhof (main station). Near the central vicinity of Binnenalster, city centre and historic Speicherstadt our hostel is your perfect starting point for adventures in Hamburg. Facilities A&O Hamburg Hauptbahnhof has to... Kastanien Hotel Category: Hostel Address: Kastanienallee 27 - Hamburg, Germany Wellcome to the new hostel in Hamburg! Shortly opened small hostel in the haert of Hamburg. Ouer hostel in Hamburg is situated in a ex-brothel between the Reeperbahn and the fish market on the Elbe, in the red light restrict - here you ll find us. The atmosphere of our hostel reflects the... A&O Hamburg Reeperbahn Category: Hostel Address: Reeperbahn Hamburg, Germany A&O Hamburg Reeperbahn (formerly known as Hotel Stern ) offers you the unique possibility stay in the heart of St. Pauli for an unbeatable price. Our hotel and hostel is situated directly at the famous Reeperbahn, only 700m to the port of Hamburg and close to the fish market - in the center of... A&O Hamburg Hammer Kirche Category: Hostel Address: Hammer Landstr Hamburg, Germany After only three underground stations you are in the heart of Hamburg (Hauptbahnhof). The Binnenalster, city centre and the historic Speicherstadt are all in close proximity to A&O Hotel Hamburg Hammer Kirche. Our Hotel is the perfect starting point for adventures and sight- seeing in... 16

19 Backpackers St. Pauli Category: Hostel Address: Bernstorffstraße 98 - Hamburg, Germany Welcome to Hamburg St. Pauli! Our Hostel is located in the quieter area of the district but nevertheless it is not far away from Reeperbahn and Schanzenviertel where you find good restaurants, bars and clubs. Our Hostel provides 10 Rooms with 55 beds in total Most of the rooms have ensuite... WIRA Hostel Category: Hostel Address: Königstraße 16a - Hamburg, Germany We are a quiet, tidy and comfortable hostel. Our hostel has only dorm beds in differently large rooms: one for 8 persons, two for 12 and one for 4. We have two toilets and four shower cubicles, which will be kept clean. We do have a Wireless internet access and lockers, also we can do loundry... MEININGER Hotel Hamburg City Center Category: Hostel Address: Goetheallee 9-11, Haus 3 - Hamburg, Germany Central location, reasonable prices and great quality MEININGER Hamburg has it all! Servicing two of Hamburg s most attractive neighbourhoods, the studenty, Schanzenviertel and relaxed Ottensen with booming film community, the MEININGER Hamburg-Altona is located directly behind Hamburg s... Hotel Kieler-Hof Category: Bed & Breakfast Address: Bremer Reihe 15 - Hamburg, Germany The Hotel Pension Kieler Hof enjoys an extremely central location, just a few metres from Hamburg s main railway station and main bus station. Just a short stroll takes you to the city centre and all attractions which Hamburg offers. We offer our guests cost-free internet access via Wireless... M&S White House Category: Bed & Breakfast Address: Bergredder 1a - Hamburg, Germany ***WELCOME*** to Top-Hostel in Germany 2008 by HostelsClub.com! The WhiteHouse is new, small and a very nice guest house located at the east gate of Hamburg in Barsbüttel. The location of the house is optimal, because it is very docile but close to the Hamburg-City and the motorway A24 and... 17

20 WIRA Guesthouse Category: Guest House Address: Lübecker Str. 25a - Hamburg, Germany We Love Hamburg, guesthouse & hostel located in the heart of Hamburg. Our location is very central and a burger restaurant is next door to us. There are also many other restaurants and shops situated close to us and there is a metro station beside the property, which is convenient if you wish to... Hotel Figaro Category: Hotel * Address: Neuerkamp 21 - Hamburg, Germany Our small Hotel in Hamburg is situated in the cult area St. Pauli. With it s 35 simple equipped rooms offers best price to ser-vice relation. All rooms with washing facility, cable-tv and a working-desk. Some of the rooms are equipped with a fridge. Separated WC and shower-rooms are located on... Hotel Lilienhof Category: Hotel * Address: Ernst-Merck-Str. 4 - Hamburg, Germany Our Hotel Lilienhof is a charming, family-run hotel and offers 21 rooms on four floors. All rooms are equipped with a TV and telephone. For your convenience, we have an elevator to take you to your room. All rooms have washing facilities and most rooms do have a shower. Bathrooms can be found... Hotel Budapester Hof Category: Hotel *** Address: Paulinenstrasse Hamburg, Germany Our Hotel is in the heart of the Hamburg and waiting for you with the best price and comfort. The Hotel is placed in the middle of Hamburg - St. Pauli. Near by you find the soccer stadium at the Millerntor and naturally at lot of well-kown sights of Hamburg. Concerts - musicals - the Eurovision... Apartment-Hotel Hamburg Hamm Category: Hotel *** Address: Borstelmannsweg Hamburg, Germany Individual, informal, close to the city center! The Apartment-Hotel in Hamburg is a private owned and managed, certified 3-Star-Superior-Hotel. It offers a total of 119 generously proportioned guest rooms with a home-from-home ambiance. The hotel is conveniently located for downtown Hamburg,... 18

21 Hotel Terminus am Hbf Category: Hotel *** Address: Steindamm 5 - Hamburg, Germany Welcome to our Hotel Terminus which is located in the heart of Hamburg nearby the city where you can go shopping or have a coffee in one of the gorgeous restauraunts around the ALSTER. You can stay in one of our beautiful and comfortable rooms which are fitted out with Cable-TV and phone. Shower... Hotel Lumen am Hbf Category: Hotel *** Address: Steindamm 19 - Hamburg, Germany Welcome to our Hotel Lumen which is located in the heart of Hamburg. Close by the hotel you can go shopping in the city center or stroll along the ALSTER lake lined by cafés and restaurants. Stay in one of our beautiful and comfortable rooms which are fitted out with Cable-TV and phone,... Hotel Residence am Hbf Category: Hotel *** Address: Steindamm Hamburg, Germany Welcome to our Hotel Residence which is located in the heart of hamburg nearby the city where you can go shopping or have a coffee in one of the gorcious restauraunts around the ALSTER. You can stay in one of our beautiful and confortable rooms which are fitted out with Cabel- TV, Tel, shower and... Hostel B6 Category: Hostel Address: Beim Andreasbrunnen, 6 - Hamburg, Germany Our backpackers hostel in Hamburg is located in Eppendorf, one of the nicest areas of Hamburg, and offers ideal accommodation for backpackers and other short-term guests. The Art-Nouveau building is situated in a quiet neighbourhood close to a park and is surrounded by a number of other attractive... Night Lodge Category: Hostel Address: Bundestraße 8 - Hamburg, Germany Night lodge is situated in the heart of Hamburg, between all central amenities and attractions. It is a small hostel, providing comfortable double rooms in a relaxed yet affordable hostel environment. Our hostel is situated between Planten un Bloomen (large attractive park), Sternscahanze and the... Mini-Hotel An Der Messe Category: Bed & Breakfast Address: Bundesstrasse 8 - Hamburg, Germany Our Hotel located in the center of Hamburg, 500 m from Hamburg Dammtor Railway station and Messe or CCH. Just few minutes to walk to Hamburg University, Lake Alster. P.S.We are not working with Credit Cards Guests shall pay in Cash or by Advance remittance. 19

22 The many Memes of Hamburg Hamburg is epic, and I mean like really epic. Hamburg is really multi cultural, so you could get trolled for using any 4chan related terms. Why you ask? KRAUTCHAN.NET It s something like 4chan, but with less pr0n, they are something like the 4. Reich called " Internet Nationalists " after all, they are pretty cool guise. Typical terms you may encounter are: Kein Bernd not a Bernd Krebs cancer Kamerahure camwhore Ge wek get out gewinn win 4kanal 4chan fersagen fail lauer meer lurk moar fick dich weg du homofürst Fuck youself away, you gaylord! * Untrerschicht lower part of the society (*literal translation) Nevertheless, Bernds are pretty cool guise. It may happen that you ll get enturbulated, but do not feed the trolls. And nao for something completely different The headcrab OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB OBEY ZE HEADCRAB 20

23 Dos Donts Feed the headcrabz with caek Worship ze Headcrabz with caek Delight the Headcrabz with caek Respect ze Headcrabz (with caek) Love ze Headcrabz Obey ze Headcrabz! Wear Headcrabz on teh Head Show the Headcrabz to Civilians Show the Headcrabz to Scifags Be part of ze Headcrab Feed ze Headcrabz Look in their eyes i mean it they ll steal your soul please... save at least yourself... History In the early summer of 1943; war is waging in europe and besides the Tiger 2, the Haunebu and the V-series germany develops a series of mindmanipulating supercrabs. The first Headcrab V1 was born. The Headcrab technology got lost after Hitlers death in the year 1947, but was actually stolen by the secret Unit G.I Boris sent in by the Russian government. The Russians were afraid of the remains of the 3rd Reich, now stationed in New Schwabenland and on the black side of the moon, so they turned the newly aquired Technology against the moon. The first module carrying a unit of headcrabz was the sputnik, signal was lost. The Russians turned desperate an in exchange for the Headcrab technology sent the americans one of their own modules to the moon. Neil Armstrong, also known as Captain America, also known as Rudolf Hess, led the army of Headcrabz. After a terrible and long fight, the nazis from the moon started a counterattack; they landed in Chernobyl. The newly founded organisation of the Anonyms was sent in to fight the menace, facing complete destruction, the first anonyms decided to rather blow up the Dark matter generator then leting it fall to german hands. Eventually, they got saved by the Jewbots, a bunch of epic Jewish robots (fuck they are awesome!) The anonyms aquired in that battle the technology of the headcrab (nao V-3 Blitzcrab ), after seeing of what evil ze headcrab is capable of, Anonyms decided it shall be destroyed; after 12 years of war, the last copy of the Headcrab remain functioning. But then it happened, the anonyms were deceived by the headcrab and turned into something terrible...anonymous. The headcrabz erased the memories of mankin and replaced it with some dumb bullshit about nuclear reactors in chernobyl and cold war and the moonlanding and stupid shit liek that. The Headcrabz are nao in total controll of the Anonymous Cell Hamburg. TL;DR: Ikea got some pillows in crab form so we bought them for teh lulz. 21